Irritating
by caitibug95
Summary: The irritating midget refuses to get out of Ichigo's bed. So he does something about it. A series of one-shots.
1. Good Night, Rukia

Disclaimer: Bleach is owned by Tite Kubo. I don't own any part of the Bleach manga, anime, or anything else associated with the title.

Rating: T

Please read and review!

Normal

"Talking"

_Thinking_

Ichigo scowled at the dark-haired midget curled up in his bed. He had left for 10 minutes to go take a shower and she just went in and made herself comfortable. She was always reliable to find ways to annoy the hell out of him. Using his shower and leaving her girl-things in his bathroom, putting up Chappy posters only to be ripped down five minutes later. She really knew how to bug him, and most of the time, she didn't even have to try. How she would fight Hollows by herself, how she would get hurt, how she would worry him... Rukia Kuchiki was the most irritating person he had ever met.  
>But however annoying the small shinigami was, he had to admit she looked really cute when she slept. The way she pulled his blanket tight around herself whenever he attempted to wake her up was just too damn adorable. Her hair was messed up and hung around her face at odd angles and her clothes were of a comfortable style that suited her so much more than her uniform. He almost didn't want to disturb her. Almost.<p>

"Oi, Rukia! Get out of my bed!" said Ichigo, shaking her shoulder.

She replied with a "Hmph," noise as she turned over, ignoring him.

He scowled again, shaking her more. "Get up midget! I want some sleep too!"

"Then join me, because I ain't moving!" mumbled a sleepy Rukia.

"G-get in your damn closet!" He stuttered at the thought of sleeping in the same bed as the girl he was just admiring.

Rukia could be so irritating. She pulled his blankets closer to herself as she ignored Ichigo's commands. His bed was just too comfortable and she was just so tired that she couldn't pull herself away. It didn't help that his blankets smelled just like him... No, she was not planning on leaving any time soon. Ichigo could sleep in the closet for once. The shinigami was quite surprised when Ichigo actually climbed in to the bed with her! _  
>I am NOT letting that midget hog up MY bed!<em> he thought as he laid down. Rukia shifted to her side when she felt a disturbance in the bed. She stretched her arms, feeling something that wasn't there before. _What is that? _Her arms felt around trying to figure out what the bed-hogging object was without having to open her eyes. _Hm, its hard, but soft at the same time, and... Oh god._ Rukia's eyes flew open as she realized she was touching the smirking red-head's chest. She shot up into a sitting position.

"I-ichigo! What are you doing!" she asked in a startled voice.

"You wouldn't get out of my damn bed and I ain't sleeping in your closet, so I took you up on your offer," he replied

"I was kidding!" she said incredulously.

"Go to sleep Rukia," he said as if she were an unruly child.

"But, well, uh..." she mumbled, laying back down. She turned away from him, glaring at the wall for no particular reason except for that she was being shown up. Her anger silently fumed as she tried to sleep. What about Ichigo was so... attracting? Why did Ichigo have to be so warm, and have to smell so good? Why was she even thinking about him? Ichigo was having similar thoughts, but he actually had initiative. _Why not take an opportunity when it is presented to you?_ The dark-haired girl jumped when she felt an arm wrap around her waist. "A-ah!" she gasped in surprise. "Good night, Rukia," Ichigo said tiredly. Maybe sharing his bed -even with an irritating midget- wasn't such a bad thing.


	2. Nightmares

Well, since you like my first story so much I've decided to do a little series of IchiRuki one-shots!

Hitsugayatoushiro1220: Thank you, I'll try to not forget about updating ^_^"

Ichigokonhitsugaya11: Sorry about that, I should have used something like "strawberry-haired" or "flame-headed"

Code Awesome: I like your name! Its not my first story but it is my first really romance-centered one!

(Nightmares)

Ichigo was having a bad day. Woke up late and went to school without any breakfast. He forgot to do his homework and got lectured by the teacher in front of the whole class. At lunch he was assaulted by Orihime with another request to go out on a date. After that, he comes home from school and his dad kicks him in the face. He then had to waste time and effort to beat the crap out of his idiot father. Then, a hollow attacked a nearby neighborhood and he had to kill it by himself because he couldn't find Rukia, Uryu, or Chad. But no, none of that made it bad. It was what happened as soon as he glanced into the living room. He had found Rukia.

"BWAHAHAHAHA!" laughed the midget loudly, arms crossed over her chest and with a stupid expression on her face.

No, his day was not bad for any of the reasons listed. It was bad because of _Don Kanonji._

"Rukia, stop that damned annoying laugh and turn that crap off!" yelled the irritated carrot-top. He didn't expect the next attack. In the next second he was backed into the corner and surrounded. Yuzu, his father, and Rukia all eyed him mischeviously. Evil radiated off of their smiling faces as they crossed their arms over their chests and stepped towards him. A chorus of maniacal laughing began and the substitute soul reaper tried to fight them off.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He screamed as the three antagonists closed in on him.

\

Ichigo woke from his sleep with a was covered in a cold sweat and shivering. _It was just a dream..._ he thought, calming himself to go back to sleep. The blankets rustled next to him as a petite woman pulled herself into a sleepy sitting position. She rubbed her eyes wearily and blinked a few times. "Something wrong, Ichi?" she asked, wondering why the bed was cold and damp.

"Just a nightmare, don't worry about it." he said, not looking at the woman for fear that he would see his nightmare-Rukia.

"Okay then, just come back to bed and we can talk about it in the morning," she replied, beckoning him back. It was harder to sleep without him there.

"Mhm." He mumbled a reply as he lay back down, hoping that real life Rukia would keep away his silly nightmares.


	3. Still There

Sorry for the long waiting period... So I'll update two chapters tonight! This one has a more depressing air then the rest. The next one will return to being light romance. Thanks!

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Ichigo stood at the edge of the building. He glared at the ground, which looked so far away from where he was standing. Giving up was much easier than he thought it would be, no matter how much he hated to admit it. Pathetic was one word he could use to describe himself right now. Kurosaki Ichigo wasn't the type to just give up, but here he was, standing at the edge of a 20-story building. And all over a stupid woman.

/

_"This is farewell, Ichigo..." Rukia said with a melancholy smile_

_"...Seems so." replied Ichigo, smiling sadly back at her._

_The dark-haired midget smirked at him. "What? Don't look so sad. Even if you can no longer see me, I can still see you." _

_He made an exasperated face. "What? That doesn't make me happy at all! And I wasn't making a sad face either!"_

_"Tell everyone... I give them my best." He wished he could tell her everything he had been meaning to say for so long. But he wouldn't burden her now._

_"Okay." She was gradually fading from his sight. There was nothing he could do._

_"Bye, Rukia. Thank you."_

/

"Rukia..."

He whispered her name to the air. He wanted her. To see her, to hear her, to touch her. But he couldn't. He could never have her, and he couldn't live without her. That was the decision he had made. Life without Rukia was unbearable, it was every nightmare he had ever feared, losing her. She was not of this world. She might as well have been dead. The strawberry took a pebble from her pocket and threw it over the edge, looking over to see long it would take to fall to the ground. Long enough. Ichigo smiled and thought of her. If he did this, they could be together with no obstacles. To him, it was worth leaving behind everything. So, he put a foot over the edge.

And something stopped him. Some force. It was a soft, gentle pull, guiding him back to the rooftop and away from the edge. A familiar touch that had saved him from danger many times.

"Stop. Live."

Two words carried on the wind. He could have sworn it was her voice, coming from some distance place, or maybe his memory. But he would listen anyway. Even when he couldn't see her, Rukia would always be there for him.

/

Ichigo didn't live much longer anyway. About 1 year after that incident, Kurosaki Ichigo was murdered by a random group of thugs while protecting his younger sister Yuzu. Yuzu was surrounded on her way home from getting groceries for dinner by some creeps. She was quite lucky, because as she was mentally preparing for the worst, her older brother came in and gave her a chance to escape. Got out just in time to turn around and see one of them pull a knife on Ichigo. The fight ended there. They left after that.

/

The room was white. There were lots of people around. They seemed to be waiting for him. Ichigo's eyes opened to dark violet ones. Then there was pain.

"Ouch! What the hell was that for!" Ichigo shot up and looked around and found an angry Rukia.

"For getting your ass killed!" Rukia crossed her arms and glared at him.

"It wasn't on purpose! Besides, I bet you're just happy to see me anyway," he smirked at Rukia before getting punched again.

"That doesn't even matter!"

\

Sorry bout Ichigo's cliche death, but I felt like writing this at the moment. I apologize for the crap!


	4. Storms

Rukia sat on Ichigo's bed with her knees pulled up to her chest and Ichigo's blanket pulled over her head. There was a clap of thunder and she pulled the blanket tighter around her. She hated storms, and of course he has the nerve to not be around when one hits! Stupid strawberry, going to fight hollows in all this damn weather, without her. Oh well, she didn't need him. She had faced horrors the likes of which no mere mortal could survive. She could brave a storm. Lightening struck again and she rethought this statement. _Why can't he be here? I know the storm won't hurt me but I'd feel alot better if he was..._ The thunder clapped suddenly again and she shuddered.

/

Ichigo climbed back into his room through a window and took off his soaked kimono top. He glanced at his bed as the room suddenly lit up. He heard a yelp and saw something shudder. "Rukia? You okay?" asked Ichigo, gving her a concerned look.

"I'm f-f-fine, don't be stupid!" she stuttered at him.

"If you say so!" replied the redhead, changing into sleep pants. He slipped into bed next to Rukia and put his arms around her shoulders. "But if you need me, I'll keep any storm at bay for you." A genuine smile formed for her as she let herself relax into his arms.

"Thank you Ichigo, I feel alot safer now..." She looked up at his calm, strong face and smiled. When the thunder sounded again, Ichigo held her tighter and she didn't jump. Eventually she relaxed enough to fall asleep and he stayed with her through the night.

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Sorry that its so short, it was just an idea that came to me cause it was storming and my boyfriend wouldn't answer his damn phone . Anyways, thanks for reading!


	5. Randumbness

Well, I read a story by ZetsuAi that was created by using a random story generator on the internet. So I tried it out and it was just too awesome to not post on here XD. I used /-/story/ to generate the story. Enjoy!

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It all started when our cliche, protagonist figure, Ichigo, woke up in a lemur-infested moor. It was the fifth time it had happened. Feeling very exasperated, Ichigo deflowered a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Happy as a frickin' monkey, he realized that his beloved Chappy doll was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, Rukia. Ichigo had known Rukia for (plus or minus) half a million years, the majority of which were electric ones. Rukia was unique. She was plucky though sometimes a little... annoying. Ichigo called her anyway, for the situation was urgent.

Rukia picked up to a very mad Ichigo. Rukia calmly assured him that most legless puppies panic before mating, yet legless puppies usually charismatically sneeze *after* mating. She had no idea what that meant; she was only concerned with distracting Ichigo. Why was Rukia trying to distract Ichigo? Because she had snuck out from Ichigo's with the Chappy doll only two days prior. It was a flamboyant little Chappy doll... how could she resist?

It didn't take long before Ichigo got back to the subject at hand: his Chappy doll. Rukia panicked. Relunctantly, Rukia invited him over, assuring him they'd find the Chappy doll. Ichigo grabbed his giraffe and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Rukia realized that she was in trouble. She had to find a place to hide the Chappy doll and she had to do it recklessly. She figured that if Ichigo took the Jap Trap, she had take at least four minutes before Ichigo would get there. But if he took the motorcycle? Then Rukia would be alarmingly screwed.

Before she could come up with any reasonable ideas, Rukia was interrupted by seven dimwitted Hollows that were lured by her Chappy doll. Rukia sighed; 'Not again', she thought. Feeling frustrated, she skillfully reached for her live hand grenade and aptly punched every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent-the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the imaginary desert, squealing with discontent. She exhaled with relief. That's when she heard the motorcycle rolling up. It was Ichigo.

-o0o-

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Sears to pick up a 12-pack of ripened avocados, so he knew he was running late. With a hasty leap, Ichigo was out of the motorcycle and went scandalously jaunting toward Rukia's front door. Meanwhile inside, Rukia was panicking. Not thinking, she tossed the Chappy doll into a box of ninja stars and then slid the box behind her whale. Rukia was displeased but at least the Chappy doll was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' Rukia flamboyantly purred. With a careful push, Ichigo opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some selfish zealous...zealot in a nappy, busted-out hatchback,' he lied. 'It's fine,' Rukia assured him. Ichigo took a seat vaguely close to where Rukia had hidden the Chappy doll. Rukia grimaced trying unsuccessfully to hide her nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' she blurted. But Ichigo was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, Rukia noticed a insensitive look on Ichigo's face. Ichigo slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

Rukia felt a stabbing pain in her shin when Ichigo asked this. In a moment of disbelief, she realized that she had hidden the Chappy doll right by her oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A oafish look started to form on Ichigo's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's wolverines from when she used to have pet disease-carrying chipmunks. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Ichigo nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Rukia could react, Ichigo deftly lunged toward the box and opened it. The Chappy doll was plainly in view.

Ichigo stared at Rukia for what what must've been three nanoseconds. In a tragically predictable turn of events, Rukia groped flamboyantly in Ichigo's direction, clearly desperate. Ichigo grabbed the Chappy doll and bolted for the door. It was locked. Rukia let out a enticing chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Ichigo,' she rebuked. Rukia always had been a little clueless, so Ichigo knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Rukia did something crazy, like... start chucking wolverines at her or something. Happy as a frickin' monkey, he gripped his Chappy doll tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

Rukia looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Ichigo. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame eight days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly she felt a tinge of concern for Ichigo. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Rukia walked over to the window and looked down. Ichigo was gone.

-o0o-

Just yonder, Ichigo was struggling to make his way through the lemur-infested moor behind Rukia's place. Ichigo had severely hurt his shin during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral Hollows suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the Chappy doll. One by one they latched on to Ichigo. Already weakened from his injury, Ichigo yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Hollows running off with his Chappy doll.

About two hours later, Ichigo awoke, his shin throbbing. It was dark and Ichigo did not know where he was. Deep in the broad disease-infested jungle, Ichigo was abnormally lost. Happy as a frickin' monkey, he remembered that his Chappy doll was taken by the Hollows. But at that point, he was just thankful for his life. That's when, to his horror, a enormous Hollow emerged from the lemur-infested moor. It was the alpha Hollow. Ichigo opened his mouth to scream but was cut short when the Hollow sunk its teeth into Ichigo's shin. With a faint groan, the life escaped from Ichigo's lungs, but not before he realized that he was a failure.

Less than six miles away, Rukia was entombed by anguish over the loss of the Chappy doll. 'MY PRECIOUS!' she cried, as she reached for a sharpened potato. With a hasty thrust, she buried it deeply into her ear. As the room began to fade to black, she thought about Ichigo... wishing she had found the courage to tell him that she loved him. But she would die alone that day. All that remained was the Chappy doll that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sapling branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant Hollows, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroes would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead. So, no one lived forever after, the end. :'(


End file.
